Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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