dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
