Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
