It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
