i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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