I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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