Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
