i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
