I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
