My nipple is on Facebook.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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