I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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