so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
