It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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