It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
