Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
