I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
