it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
