Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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