erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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