I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
