So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
