Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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