make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
