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The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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