my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You pole danced in your parka.
The uberlube is also flammable
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
