it hurts more in the daytime
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
