Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
