D3 body, D1 cock
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
