True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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