Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
