yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
