I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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