It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
