I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Randomize
