i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
