we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
