is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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