so that wasnt chicken after all
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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