Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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