I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
