you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
