No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
