At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
bring money and cleavage
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
is it fun? or sober?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
