Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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