hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
