so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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