I want to make a zoo with you.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My life is pants optional.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
