the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
