I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
