Whod you bang
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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