Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
